'Don't Respond to Irrational Fears" - Mary Matalin

This summer, I read a book called "A Letter to My Younger Self". Filled with letters from successful women to their younger selves at a more trying time. Below are a few of my favorite excerpts:

"Remember, you can always come home." - Maya Angelou

"Don't be so quick to dismiss another human being." - Barbara Boxer

"Don't let your emotional needs go begging." - Caroline Deaver

"But you need to learn how to celebrate - not just to suffer." - Olympia Dukakis

'The only way to the other side is through it." - Eileen Fisher

"Laughing is a very serious matter." - Jane Kaczmarek

After finishing the book, I decided I wanted to write a letter to my younger self too. So here. Here I write to myself crying on the bathroom floor in school, 17 years old, and dealing with a recent break-up.

Dahlia,

It's not the end of the world. Get up. Dust yourself off, wipe your tears, and go back to class. You will be fine. I promise. I know you don't feel like you will be right now, but you will. I know you just want to mope around and keep yourself curled in this ball of familiar rejection, but you really don't have to. Stop crying. You are beautiful. It's his loss.

You think this guy is the best thing that ever happened to you and you aren't ready to let him go. I've learned now that if someone does not want you, then walk away. He doesn't know how special you are, but he will. One day he'll give you a call again. That day, your heart will be elsewhere and you'll be glad about it.  You have to know your own self-worth, a concept you don't believe in right now. You feel like you aren't pretty enough or else he wouldn't be sleeping around with other girls. He wouldn't have gotten her pregnant. I know you wish you would have just broken your vow to yourself and let him be your first. Maybe that would have kept him, you think. Later in life, you will be so happy you decided to save yourself.

You will meet other men. Better men. Smarter men. But one man in particular. He'll be someone you never expected and even happier that you didn't. Why? Because that friendship you had first has been the strongest foundation for any relationship you've had. That and a shared love for God. He's everything you've ever wanted. Everything.  Things won't be perfect, no. You'll want him to do this more or that more or get mad when he doesn't see things your way, but you really shouldn't. You don't have to try to make him love you. He does, in his own way. Accept that and love him back wholeheartedly for love is patient and kind. But you won't meet him for another year. Look out for him. He'll be the guy in the red shirt. 

Until then, turn to God for affirmation. Let Him love you. Appreciate the hurt you are going through. Thank this ex even. Because of him, you'll appreciate the love of your life more, and you'll have found your passion. Because of this relationship (and another bad one right after it), you want to be a therapist trained in marriage and family therapy. Friends will ask you for advice because they know you've been there. 

Appreciate. Forgive. And keep on moving.

Sincerely,

21 and It Looks So Good on Me

Happy Birthday to Me!

I woke up like this.  

Seriously.

Thanking God for another year.

I Tried To Reach You, I

I still remember. I still. remember.

You never stopped loving me.

You'd been afraid and that kept you away but I knew better.

I knew you got that letter from God,

"she needs you" it read.

I still need you. I still. need you.

I will never, never stop loving you.

I can never because you've captured me.

I get you because I am you and you're perfect just the way you are.

I knew you got that letter from God,

"she needs you" it read.

I still need you. I still. need you.

Signed. Sealed. 

A Gift From Virgo

Should I? Or should I? Or should I?

I keep asking myself. I don't want to answer. I don't want to think and so I keep asking. I keep asking myself. No - no I won't over exert myself. I will not over extend my hand. Nor my heart. She's too precious for tears. She's strong enough for pain, but she doesn't have to endure it right now. No, not under these circumstances. No, not by you. Never by you. Never by you. And so I'll walk with head high, heart heavy but kind, smiling, courageously and fearlessly ready. Ready. No, not by you. Never by you. Never by you.

First Amendment

"Don't be so quick to dismiss another human being." - Barbara Boxer

I've learned that through being dismissed myself because I dismissed others first. That's the accusation anyone and one I cannot wholeheartedly disagree with.

There is no malicious bone in my body, but what does that matter if someone feels pain from me. Because of me. So let me try again, let me start again right now and think. Let me consider. Let me see.

Let me be conscious. Be aware that I'm not the only one with feelings.

There are two sides to every story. I'll still tell mine, but with them in mind too. 

With them in mind too.

I Almost Forgot

Breathe.